962 – Wait for them to speak
1000 things to be a better father
963 – Don’t be afraid to sit in silence
something
yesterday was not enough
today was not enough
yesterday was nothing
today was something
focus on nothing
get more nothing
focus on something
get more something
accept nothing
build something
the devil
The greatest trick the Abuser ever pulled is convincing their chosen of fault.
a list of things that won’t leave
16 years ago
I would dream
my mom
divorced my dad
when the judge asks
“who do you want to live with”
looking my dad in the eyes
“my mom”
she said
a list of things that won’t leave
8 years ago
I wish I had never told you about
her
and raised her with my mother
instead
she said
navigate the world least the world navigates you
child
you can conform
never
question
doubt
push or
ponder
another’s
non-sensical
or sensical
sense of
(truth)
reality
at times
it can be
kind
to let
pass
there is
strength in
humility
to not conform
in public
(should be)
a choice
sense of self
should never
lessen
to a point
conformity
becomes
private
reality
conform
or not?
err
in favor of
your
VOICE
If…
If you give your child everything, they have nothing.
In Death…
Here lies Luvius Thomas: He wish he had spent more time with his daughter. But there was this kind of interesting, somewhat entertaining, mostly okay video of *blank* on YouTube.
Highlights from: The List of Things That Will Not Change by Rebecca Stead
Pg 74 – Miriam says that, a lot of the time, behind the feeling “I hate this” are other feelings. Like maybe, “I’m afraid of this” is hiding behind “I hate this.” And maybe hiding behind “I’m afraid of this” is “I don’t know what’ going to happen next” or “I don’t know if I can do this.” There are lots of feelings behind feelings.
Pg 114 – She said, “It might be scary to think your mom has been crying.” “But then i would be scared. Not mad.” She waited. I waited. Then she said, “Remember how sometimes one feeling is behind another feeling?” I shrugged. She waited. “So angry is behind afraid?” I said. “Or maybe angry is in front of afraid. The angry kind of takes over.”
Pg 153 – I almost told her about my bedroom windows at Mom’s, about “utta moon,” and how sometimes my life feels like room with two windows and two moons. The I did tell her, even though I knew she might think it was weird. Happiness makes me feel brave. “Two moons,” she said. “ That’s cool. It’s almost like-“ She stopped. “Like what?” “Don’t laugh, but it kind of sounds like a secret power. The girls who can see two moons.”
P 183 – Miriam says that sometimes, when we don’t want to “look hard at our behavior,” we look hard at everything else instead.
P 191 – Miriam said, “There are times when it’s right to be angry, Bea. And there are times when we use anger as a kind of protection from feeling hurt. It’s a way of covering up.”
P 209 – “Because of the people. The other trip leaders, and the campers who came with us. They were always changing. If you think about it, Bea, life is like a trip. A very long one. And what matters most it’s he people you travel with.”